5 Tips to Prepare for Long-Distance Caregiving

When living away from your aging loved one, it can often feel that your help is insufficient, misplaced, or unneeded. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In today’s digital world, anyone can be an effective long-distance caregiver, as a number of essential services and responsibilities can be performed remotely from your home.

Long-distance caregiving can take a number of forms. It can be anything from a simple phone call to an extended plan on managing your loved one’s personal finances and in-home care. If you find yourself in a long-distance caregiving role, here are 5 tips to help you care for your aging parent, relative, or friend:

Know your Loved One’s Medical and Financial History

According to the National Institute of Aging, healthcare experts recommend that you learn as much as you can about your loved one’s medical history, including their illnesses and symptoms, medications, and other treatment options that might be available. Knowing this information can help prepare you for sudden health crises, anticipate the course of an illness, and assist in healthcare management. It can also help improve communication with doctors and other health professionals, allowing for easier and more productive conversations regarding your loved one’s health. In the event of a sudden emergency, be sure that you have received prior written consent from the elderly member to allow doctors, hospitals, and insurers to share medical and financial information with you or another trusted family member.

The AARP also recommends that you are aware of your loved one’s financial situation. Conversations regarding finances can be uncomfortable and difficult, however they are essential to planning out current and long term care. Knowing your aging parent or friend’s savings, investments, and other yearly payments such as mortgages, can help you devise plans for paying their health care and everyday expenses.

Check-in Regularly, Both Over the Phone and In-Person

Long-distance caregiving doesn’t just include managing healthcare appointments and finances — it can simply be checking-in and letting your loved ones know you’re thinking about them. According to a U.S. Health and Retirement study, 43 percent of Americans aged 60 and older reported feeling lonely, while a report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine found that nearly “one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated.” Both loneliness and social isolation can lead to an increased risk for health problems such as heart disease, depression, and dementia, underlying the importance of regular communication with your aging family members and friends.

Phone calls or video calls can provide much needed emotional support, but they can be deceiving if used to gauge your loved one’s well being. Many seniors have expressed not wanting to burden their adult children, and phone calls make it easier to disguise or deflect from any potential problems. For this reason, it’s important to see your aging loved ones in-person. During your visit, prioritize spending as much time as possible together with family and other loved ones. Do activities unrelated to being a caregiver, such as going to the movies or going for a walk. Be sure to look out for possible signs of trouble or concern, such as how your family member performs their daily tasks, eats, communicates, or how easily they move around. You can also do a quick sweep through their home to see if any rooms or utilities need renovating, including faucets, fire detectors, and more.

Manage Living Expenses and Paperwork

In addition, aging loved ones may not have the time or energy to navigate the complicated expenses and stipulations that come with senior care services. In this situation, you may have to act as a liaison between healthcare providers and your older family member or friend, managing and paying their medical bills, helping them understand insurance benefits and claims, and connecting them to sources of financial help if needed. Managing other living expenses, such as household bills, taxes, and mortgages, can fall under your umbrella of responsibilities as well.

Long-distance caregivers can also help with organizing their loved one’s important paperwork, including personal, health, financial, and legal records. Ensuring that the information in these documents are in order and up-to-date can help designate caregiving roles and prepare you and other family members for potential crises. These documents can include an advanced directive for medical care, which names a person to make medical and financial decisions if the person receiving care can no longer do so, wills, life insurance policies, and contact information for doctors, assisted care facilities, and other health professionals.

Help Arrange for In-Person Help

If you’re concerned about your aging parent, relative, or friend’s wellbeing, one way you can help is by arranging for in-home care. Depending on your loved one’s health condition, living situation, and preferences, this can include hiring a professional caregiver, home health or nursing aides, and facilitating the transportation of essential medical equipment to their home. You may also need to research and assist your loved one with moving into an assisted living facility or nursing home. If you’re unsure where to begin with that process, check out SeniorHabitat’s senior living online tool to get you started.

Form a Support and Contact Group

While you may get a sense on how your loved one is doing during an in-person visit or phone call, it can be reassuring to receive regular updates on their health. To help achieve this, consider forming a network of people that are in contact with your loved one, including neighbors, friends, doctors, local relatives, and more. Ask them to contact you if they suspect any changes to their behavior or health. Depending on their levels of comfort and availability, you can also ask if they can assist with any caregiving needs, such as picking up groceries, providing transportation to health appointments, or mowing the lawn.

If you or a loved one is considering aging in place, visit our Aging in Place tool that connects users with a comprehensive marketplace of services and benefits in your community.

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